How To Make A Sandwich

This is how the ##java Channel Regulars make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

AMcBain

  • Go to the school cafeteria
  • Order pizza
  • Eat pizza
  • Realize he wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich but enjoyed the pizza anyway

cheeser

  • Get a job with either Jif or Smuckers
  • Get bread
  • Apply peanut butter to one slice of bread
  • Apply jelly to other slice
  • Match them together exactly when the companies that make Jif and Smuckers merge
  • Eat it

DRMacIver

  • Buys the ingredients
  • Calculates the exact amounts of peanut butter and jelly, and the optimal thickness of bread slices
  • Prepares sandwich
  • Eats sandwich but will share a piece with anyone who asks

flippo

  • Take gin from freezer and mix first cocktail.
  • Request back rub from the Dragon Lady.
  • Gaze upon life's rich pageant.
  • Try to remember what that was about a sandwich.

fr0ggler

  • Discards peanut butter and jelly combo with air of disdain.
  • Finds curry and beer.
  • Repeats.

JavaGeek

  • Googles "How to make a peanut butter jelly sandwich".
  • Watches youtube video.
  • Follows a couple of more videos.
  • Finds funny video and shares it with the channel.
  • Goes to a restaurant for lunch.

jottinger

  • Hates to go to the store
  • Hates buying the bread
  • Hates buying the peanut butter
  • Wholly approves of stealing the jelly, because it's good
  • Hates slicing the bread
  • Hates applying ingredients to bread
  • Tells you you're doing it wrong
  • Eats the sandwich while sneering that you don't have one
  • Hopes you're hungry and have learned your lesson

joed

  • Get lingon berry jam
  • Get peanut butter
  • Experiment until finding the right balance of peanut butter and jam
  • Enjoys sandwich and shares recipe with friends

kinabalu

  • Buy the ingredients, all organic
  • Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
  • Take lots of photos
  • Post photos to Picasa
  • Share photos of sandwich with all friends

mr_smith

  • No longer a ##java regular
  • Words cannot describe the magic of his bread-based food products

ojacobson

  • Get bread
  • Apply peanut butter and jelly to slices
  • Eat sandwich
  • Show exactly how it's done to anyone who asks

pr3d4t0r

  • Procures or makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
  • Takes sandwich apart
  • Scrapes the peanut butter off and replaces it with almond butter
  • Scrapes the jelly off and replaces it with homemade strawberry preserves
  • Carefully reassembles the sandwich
  • Lightly toasts the bread with a cooking torch, on the outside
  • Eats sandwich while warm and shares instructions with peeps

robbyoconnor

  • Bitches to anyone who asks about how to exactly make bread
  • Berates anyone who asks while telling them how to make peanut butter or jelly
  • Grovels while they make their sandwich
  • Nobody has ever seen him make a sandwich, or eat it

Sou|cutter

  • Buy bread, peanut butter, and jelly
  • Make a sandwich
  • Pierce the sandwich
  • Decorate the top with multi-coloured cake sprinkles
  • Eat sandwich

svm_invictvs

  • bvy bread, peanvt bvtter, and jelly
  • ask how to make sandwich
  • ask again how to make sandwich
  • ask again how to make sandwich
  • ask again how to make sandwich
  • ask again how to make sandwich
  • ask again how to make sandwich
  • ask again how to make sandwich
  • make peanvt bvtter and jelly sandwich
  • ask again how to make sandwich
  • ask again how to make sandwich
  • ask again how to make sandwich
  • fail TOTALLY AND INCREDIBLY to eat the sandwich despite said sandwich screaming "EAT ME!"
  • admit failure to peeps

ThaDon

  • Buy ingredients
  • Tell wife to make sandwich and be quick
  • Eat sandwich

wabash

  • pretends to be a regular
  • asks what "peanut butter" is
  • get universally berated
  • figures out that "peanut butter" is actually "peanut paste", and contains no butter
  • realizes that he's been making sandwiches for at least a decade already, but never knew that there was a "sandwich pattern"
  • quietly makes sandwich in corner

whaley

  • Buys ingredients to make sandwich
  • Figures out optimal way to assemble a sandwich
  • Builds a machine from the appliances already in the kitchen to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if someone provides the ingredients
  • Puts the machine where all can use it and lets them be
  • Smacks anyone who uses low quality ingredients for sandwiches, cleans up the machine, and yells at them to never do that again